boundary breakers
Boundary Breakers (The BBs)
There are some things to learn from this discrepancy.
We can’t be vague. When setting boundaries, it’s important to be absolutely, fundamentally clear about what is ok and what is not ok; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.
Boundary breakers often lack self-awareness. Now, of course there are people who don’t care about your boundaries. That’s an entirely different conversation. Right now, let’s take a look at the BBs who are clueless. I want to shed light on why they are clueless.
BBs often come off as pushy, needy, and not taking “NO” for an answer. It can feel like they are always looking for a loophole or wiggle room so they can ultimately have their way.
They can be narcissists, but not always.
How do you feel when someone crosses your boundaries? Do you immediately go into questioning annoyance? Do you become frustrated? Sometimes people say to me “they otta just know better”. But think about it, how would boundaryless people “just know better”. As inconvenient as it may be, sometimes we have to teach people what boundaries are while we are setting them. So, what do we have to learn from repeat offenders?
We can learn to be better communicators.
We can practice being more assertive.
We can redirect frustration to find solutions to boundaries being crossed.
We can teach BBs what the parameters are for interacting with us.
See it as an opportunity to clarify who you are and where you are and what you’re comfortable with.
Try adding a sealant to your boundary setting statements. A sealant is what seals the deal. It is the final statement that makes it absolutely clear how you feel about a situation. The audio that corresponds to this blog note explains more on this.
