release the narcissist, clear that energy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is thought to be created, not a born trait. A lot of research shows that this disorder begins in childhood with early caregivers who were not emotionally present. The child was often given material things or superficial comments about their physical beauty, athletic ability, or academic intelligence. However, when the child experienced low moments and needed love, affection, and empathy, it was most likely not given in the way that the child needed. This polarity of being given everything, but not being supported emotionally in healthy ways created a mental construct of entitlement. This individual did not integrate authentic empathy because it wasn’t given to them. This person cannot give you compassion that they never learned how to give to themselves because it wasn’t modeled.
Whether you are dealing with a narcissistic parent, boss, friend, or romantic partner, you are to some degree in a no-win situation. Despite a lot of effort, you will eventually realize that you can’t ever truly please them. Their love and validation of you is conditional. You will be punished emotionally when you fail to meet their expectations, creating patterns of jumping through hoops to please them. This is how people pleasing starts and continues…until you stop it. People pleasing is exhausting.
Go back in your memory. Who was that first narcissist in your life? Was it a parent, a grandparent, a coach, or a teacher? Who made you feel that you weren’t good enough? Who made you feel like you had to work harder to please them? Who made you feel awful if you missed the mark? This is the person you need to break up with. This is the initial wound that needs healing.
Go back and give yourself validation, love, and acceptance that you needed way back then…so you can close the hole that was left open in your heart. Close the gap. Stop the pattern. End the cycle. Love yourself by vacuuming the residue out of your life. Release yourself from the original wound and the original narcissistic person. Create new neuropaths about who you are and move forward in peace.
